The True Story of the Three Little Pigs.

Everyone knows the story of the three little pigs. That’s what they thought.
But what about my point of view? No one thought of my view.
That’s why I will share my story. The story of how a I became the Big Bad Wolf.
My names Alexander Wolf. Call me Wolf. So this story involves sugar and a cold. 

So my fat old grandmother that looked like a pig was going to have her birthday
and she was turning two years old.
She farts a lot and it smells worse than a garbage truck made out of garbage.
Sounds Crazy, I know. I ran out of sugar when I was making the cake.
So I decided to go to my neighbour.
He was a pig. And as most wolfs know, pigs are tasty but very rude.
Though they tast good with some rabbit and just a hour in the microwave.
Yes, we wolfs are fussy when it comes to pigs.
But as I said they are very rude.
So the first pig had a house built of bricks, but that porker wasn’t that nice. 

I went to the second one made of sticks.
I knocked on the door and said “hello, Mr Porkchop? Are you there?”
There was no reply. I had a sniff, then a snuff, and then I sneezed the house down! 

And there was a pig in a spacesuit, looking as good as ever.
I loved the space pigs.
Though they use sticks to hide their amazing spaceship house of sticks.
I guess I will have it. NOM NOM NOM! I sucked my fingers.
That was so good, but I guess this pig had no sugar. I went to the brick house. 

I rung the doorbell. “Hello, Mr Bacon? Can I have some sugar?”
He replied “Not right now, Mr Wolf. I am in the bath doing tons of farts.
So get your BIG FAT BODY OF MY PROPERTY!!!”
The pig was screaming so loud that he died. I snuck in.
I saw the fat pig, still farting. 

I didn’t want to eat the pig because it was still farting but I sneezed so the pig flew
around the house and ended up in my belly. NOM NOM NOM NOM. Slurrrrp!
Then I had small farts and then I stopped farting.
Yep, that’s good. I’m feeling better now.
I went to the super ultra space pig of the universe.
He was the best pig since he was from Htrae, the pig from a opposite universe.
His house was made out of future steel. 

But with pigs nice, wolfs are mean.
So he came to what he thought was the opposite world.
So he was being nice to pigs, but pigs were not nice to him.
So I went up and rung the doorbell. DING DONG!
The pig came out and said “hello, Alexander. What have you come here for?”
I looked at him. I was kinda hungry. So I randomly ate him.
Boy was he good. He loved to rub cooked pork on him so it was the best pig of the
day. Then the pig force leader ate me! 

It was dark and slimy. I think I was in jail. I never got my cup of sugar.
But then I sniffed and I snuffed and I sneezed!
The pig force leaders belly was sneeze-proof, fart-proof and burp-proof.
Maybe you can get me a cup of sugar? I would really like that. Then the pig farted
and smelled like my grandmothers farts. Wait, did my grandmother eat me?
No wonder it didn’t smell like pig. Oh well. The police must have hired her.
Hopefully she will eat some sugar. One cup of it exactly, that is.